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wifipasswords:

the verb suckle and all its conjugations in all tenses are so repulsive i hate that word so much 

officialwhitegirls:

remembering the homework you haven’t done on sunday night

image

(via beyoncevevo)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

(via zackisontumblr)

d0gbl0g:

thecutestofthecute:

Congratulations!! You got mail !!!.. Pup-mail that is!!!

:}

(via pornstarbucks)

funnyfacesplace:

angergirl:

AU CONTRAIRE
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.

Aunt Mary is my new hero

funnyfacesplace:

angergirl:

AU CONTRAIRE

MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,


YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.

WHICH IS TRUE

MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED

the moral of this story is

1. Sit the way you want.

2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.

Aunt Mary is my new hero

(via eastcoastheartsouthernsoul)

merlothedogue:

Bubbles!!! They’re like little tennis balls, that I can munch!

(via jescritora)

Cosmo Sex Tip #31

superaunaturelle:

During sex, surprise him with an extremely sexy orgasm moan by making the THX theme sound at the top of your lungs

(via jescritora)